Today in stand up class, my teacher gave us a list of classic heckler’s lines and asked us to come up with some witty, original come backs.
I could only come up with a list of things I would actually say if I was heckled.
Heckler: “Don’t quit your day job!”
Come back: I didn’t. I’m a really good waitress and you are mean.
Heckler: “LAAAAAAME!”
Come back: YOU’RE lame. And mean.
Heckler: “My grandmother has better jokes than you!”
Come back: That’s very nice, but…you are very mean.
Heckler: “You STINK.”
Come Backs: “Sh..shut up…” or “…Sorry.”
Heckler: “Get off the stage!”
Come back: I can’t, I’m busy doing comedy, you meanie!
I think I got the right stuff.
