-Start setting my alarm at non-rounded times. Example: 8:52am.
-Stop telling myself I’m going to drink more water.
-Stop making lists.
-Stop spilling hot tea all over myself all the time.Stop
-Stop pretending to enjoy ‘the little things’.
-Start taking better care of my feet.
-Start looking homeless people in the eyes when telling them I have no change.
-Stop stalking people I hate on facebook (notice ‘remove said people from facebook’ is not here. We all relapse.)
-Build up immunity to lactose.
-Be perceived as ‘Mysterious.’
-Accept that I probably will never be considered ‘Mysterious.’
-Settle for ‘Probably a virgin.’
-Succeed at things to be later appointed meaningful to my life.
-Stay classy.
-Watch more The Simpsons
-Wake up by at least 4pm everyday all the time and forver. No more 7pm wake-ups.
-Stop judging close friends for not watching Louie.
-Disallow dust to build up on my book shelf.
-Use weird words like disallow.
-Stop wearing sweat pants more than six days a week.
-Accept that I don’t like coffee and that I put too much sugar in my tea.
-Stop mentally telling myself, “I just like sweet tea” when adding 3-4 spoonfuls of sugar.
-Stop envisioning spiders in the crevasses of wraps, sandwiches, and falafels.
-Stop getting waaaaay too excited about seeing Degrassi kids on the street in Toronto.
-Stop referring to the 25+ year old cast members of Degrassi as ‘Degrassi kids’ when I run into them on the street.
-Stop having dreams about terrorist attacks in Toronto, followed by the phrase, “She needs us now more than ever” where ‘she’ refers to The City of Toronto.
-Stop, when envisioning the future, devoting a great amount of time to how my plans would change if I became suddenly and unexpectedly pregnant.
-Stop genuinely hating people who try to incorporate undeserved British phrases into their Brampton vocabulary.
-Stop enjoying daydreams in which I run into everyone I hated in high school at a fancy dinner gala with George Stroumboulopoulos as my date. **UPDATED** Or Bo Burnham.
-Acknowledge that the hours of 1am-4am are not ‘eat what you want’ free for alls.
-Stop cringing at young girls when they tell me they plan to get ‘Live, laugh, love’ tattooed on their arm/wrist/ankle.
-Finish my story about the Spider revolution.
