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I SWEAR I'm funny. Sometimes it's Carmerio
What's With This Carmerio Chick?
Basically I'm an aspiring comedy writer and waitress, going to comedy writing school and waiting on tables when not blogging. I watch a lot of television, see a lot of Toronto and hate a lot of people.
My hate is very focused and trained. I would hate someone for using the word 'juiced' to describe intoxication. I would hate someone if they said something racist, homophobic or sexist. All other forms of ignorance are tolerable. If they had bad facebook etiquette. Or if they asked what kind of music I liked and then critiqued my choices, or just named a bunch of bands in a vain attempt to show me how music-smart they are. Uggs. Bad laugh, or over annunciating words. They say, “I don’t watch TV,’’ or are speaking too loudly at any point. Anyone who stands too close to me or tries to make small talk. Also blonds, Mexicans, people from Chad, anyone who hosts any show on HGTV, people who insist I try new things or claim to not use facebook. And anyone more attractive than me.
My hate is very focused and trained. I would hate someone for using the word 'juiced' to describe intoxication. I would hate someone if they said something racist, homophobic or sexist. All other forms of ignorance are tolerable. If they had bad facebook etiquette. Or if they asked what kind of music I liked and then critiqued my choices, or just named a bunch of bands in a vain attempt to show me how music-smart they are. Uggs. Bad laugh, or over annunciating words. They say, “I don’t watch TV,’’ or are speaking too loudly at any point. Anyone who stands too close to me or tries to make small talk. Also blonds, Mexicans, people from Chad, anyone who hosts any show on HGTV, people who insist I try new things or claim to not use facebook. And anyone more attractive than me.
Haters
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Carmerio is Lame
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Cynical Feminism
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Throwbacks
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Justin Bieber
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Lilslutxxx
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People are assholes
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Plenty of Fish
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carmerio is a Bad Person
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4am
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Do not do this
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Fear is a Big Issue for Carmerio
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Carmerio might be racist
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Apple iPhone
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Carmerio fail
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Carmerio is addicted to comments and is therefore asking a question to trick you into commenting and making her feel less lame
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Carmerio is fat
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Carmerio will die alone
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Cats
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It's Hard Out Here for a Waitress
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Lesbians
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Life Advice
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Lists
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Painful Irony
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Platt
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Review
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Twilight
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WTFuck
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Zombies
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dear reader
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Beautiful Irony
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Birds
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Broken Dreams
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Carmerio is a Bad Daughter
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Carmerio is a Conformist
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Catty Bitches
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Celebrity Encounters
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Chatroulette
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Christians Be Crazy
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Conversation Conversation
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Fran's
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Good Things Sometimes Happen to Bitter People
(1)
Katy Perry
(1)
Live Life Like a Sitcom
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Mildly Racist
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Oops
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Self Righteousness That Then Blows Up In My Face
(1)
Sexist
(1)
Why I Love Toronto
(1)
ffends someone
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About Me
...
Please follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/carmerio or view my other blogs: Open Letter From Your Waitress and Carmerio Vs Cosmopolitan Magazine
"I've started to kinda hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them, it's just--I enjoy it. It's just recreation." -Louis CK
I'm Like A Spy or Something
Awesome. Lame. you know.
This has nothing to do with this post. I just wanted you to note that the fact that you are using not only a fork, but also a KNIFE and SPOON to eat your pasta in the photo in your heading makes you look very un-Italian.
ReplyDeleteI shall laugh at you now. Ha ha ha.
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On topic: By 'sexuality', do you mean your sexual nature in general/sexual power, or do you mean your sexual orientation.
I know that my sexual orientation is always an awkward topic to skirt when I am on dates.
Muzzled and silenced by the bipedal Chastity Cat.
ReplyDeleteit was originally 'sexual ineptity' but thats not a word.
ReplyDelete